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Copyright 2005, Michael LaRocca You can get cuddles whenever you want them. You yowl loudly if your litter box is not clean. You yowl loudly at the full moon. You yowl loudly for no reason. Floor swimming! Ping Pong balls! You find yourself bathing Daddy every day because he doesn't know how to clean himself. You don't understand the language that your pet humans use, but you always know when they are talking about you. Daddy won't change the weather no matter how many times you tell him to. Sleeping near the air conditioner is always bad, no matter how hot the weather is. It's better to curl up under a lamp in the hot summertime. You are always on the wrong side of any closed door. Strangers invade your home and you can do whatever you want. You can sniff them, you can let them rub you, you can purr and cuddle in their laps, you can protest their presence, you can cuddle Daddy, you can cuddle Mamma when there are too many males in the flat. This is your home; they are only visitors. Meow! You often get uncontrollable urges to bolt around the house at 3AM yelling meow meow at the top of your small but impressively powerful lungs. You prefer even your water to have a tuna flavor. I eat therefore I am. Lying atop the bookshelf, which is very tall, gives you an excellent view of everything that happens in your flat. Acrobatic leaps that make the rest of the world sick with jealousy. Your pet humans can sleep through alarm clocks and train wrecks, but not through the siren that is your voice. They wake up, feed you, and sleep through the rest of the day. Who cares if they sleep, as long as you are fed? You feel an irresistible urge to get inside a cupboard as soon as it's open and remove any articles of clothing from their hangers. You love climbing into any drawer that those fools carelessly leave open. You know how to open an inkjet printer and watch the black plastic things move, even though you haven't quite been able to bat one yet. But one day, you know you will. Bug hunt! C'mere Daddy! Bug hunt! You like it when people knock on your head. You have an amazing variety of sound effects that cannot be reproduced phonetically. When you are watching birds out the big window, they try to attack you. You have the uncanny ability to vanish whenever you want. And nobody can find you no matter how hard they try, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You can eat all the tins you want. All! Just say meow and more food magically appears. You talk whenever one of your pet humans goes to the toilet. You feel an obligation to yowl on their behalf, same as you do when using your own facilities, because for some strange reason they lack this ability. The computer is a friendly animal that purrs when you cuddle it. You attack funnel web spiders on the television screen. Sometimes you stop talking in the middle of a sentence and wash your leg or your naughty bits. You are always right, no matter how bad you are.
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More Articles:1. Hong Kong Calico HONG KONG CALICOCopyright 2005, Michael LaRocca'Dogs have masters;Cats have staff.'Picasso was born in February 2000. According to local astrology,the Year of the Dragon. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? I rescuedher from the SPCA in September 2000. Someone had stuck her in adonation box. I don't even want to know what that means.I had very definite plans. A calm, quiet, lazy girl who would becontent spending all day cooped up in an 18th floor Hong Kongshoebox apartment.There she was. In a glass c… 2. Canine Infectious Hepatitis By Ron Swerdfiger What is Canine Infectious Hepatitis?The word hepatitis refers to an inflamation of the liver. First reported in 1947, Canine Infectious Hepatitis (CIH), is a caused by canine adenovirus. Almost every dog will come in contact with the virus at least once in their life time. The virus may pass through the dog, causing little to no adverse effects, or the virus may be so severe, the dog will die within hours of initial symptoms.. CIH effects the liver, lymphoid system and blood vessel walls.How C… 3. Decorating for The Cat Owner - How to Protect Your Possessions By Joey Lewitin The first thing a cat owner should know about home décor is to keep it simple. Cats are completely convinced that they are in charge, that the house and its possessions belong to them, and that they have every right to break rip or shred anything they like. Even a well trained cat (a possible oxymoron) will occasionally get overzealous, and with an inadvertent sweep of their tail will knock your favorite decoration from its place to a pile on the floor.This disregard for your possessions, over… 4. 6 Simple Tips To Help Potty Train Your Puppy Potty training also known as toilet or house training is the art of teaching your puppy where you want him to relieve himself. Sound simple! Not exactly, at least to me and many dog owners out there. Potty training my puppy gives me the most problems and headaches when I start to house train my first puppy years ago. It seems that my puppy is always either in the wrong place at the right time, or the right place at the wrong time! Nevertheless, over the years, after much experiments and read… |
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